Monday, October 20, 2014

HERE'S YOUR COFFEE...TIME TO WAKE UP

Yesterday we went out to a couple stores to find Lil Bill a Halloween costume.  While we did not come home with a costume we came home inspired with ideas. While we were at one of the stores, this little girl, about 6 or 7 years old, came up to me and asked the following question, "Is that a wheelchair?"  The question caught me off guard.  I barely responded with a yes before her mom yelled for her to come with her.

Being out with Lil Bill sometimes brings a lot of attention, a lot of unwanted attention sometimes.  When Lil Bill was still a baby and on oxygen, a man actually ran into a sign because he was staring at him.  When Lil Bill had a ng tube (feeding tube) people used to stare.  Sometimes they would make comments.  One time a lady asked me if he was ok.  Another time a kid yelled in the middle of the store, "Whats wrong with that baby?"  His mom yelled at him to come to her, she didn't want him to wait around to hear the answer.

The answer is nothing.  Nothing is wrong with that baby.  That is why I felt obligated to write this post.

You see, these kids I referenced above asked their questions out of innocent curiosity.  While the second child could has asked their question a little nicer, I surely believe he meant no harm.  These children noticed there was a difference between them and my son and wanted to know about it.  When Lil Bill had first got his ng tube (feeding tube), the kids who came in contact with him the most were the first ones I had to explain it to, like his cousins and our friends children.  When they asked what it was, I used to tell them the tube helped him eat.  A common response was, 'that's so cool!'  His hearing aids and now his cochlear implants brought and brings similar questions.  I try my best to give age appropriate responses, and the funny this is, these young children, are so understanding and accepting of that response, of my son and the differences.

That is really all I want.  More importantly, that is really all my son wants.  So why are these children getting yelled at for being curious?  Why does it feel like the norm in our society to act on sheer ignorance to avoid those questions and pretend there is no difference.  Or worse, pretend we aren't here.  Having these questions answered is the first step to helping children look at the similarities rather than the differences.

If I could go back to the young girl yesterday, I would invite her mom into the conversation.  I would tell them that yes, it is indeed a wheelchair, even though we prefer to calling it his seat.  However no matter what we do or do not call it won't change the fact that he currently cannot walk.

And yes, these things on his head are cochlear implants, they help him hear.  He can hear you, so be nice.  He wants you to talk to him.  He wants to talk back to you.  If you are patient enough you will see that he is trying to communicate with you.

Just because he is in a wheelchair or seat, and just because he can't talk doesn't mean he is not like any other typical two year old.  He still thinks his daddy is the best thing that ever happened to the world, and he loves nothing more than falling asleep cuddling with his mommy.  He loves playing ball and will play it with you if you help him.  When buying clothes in the store, if he is give the option he will choose yellows and oranges.  When showed different colors of options to paint his room he picked green.  He recently chose batman over ninja turtles, however he does enjoy them too.  He loves listening to the marching band, he loves most music actually and will for sure let you dance with him.  He loves dogs and cats and generally, they love him too.  Like many other toddlers, Sponge bob is his favorite show.  He loves going swimming, he could stay in the pool for hours.  He dislikes veggies and loves chocolate.  He loves giraffes and alligators and is scared of the dark.  Bubbles amaze him.  I could go on. 

But if children are brought up in a society where its more appropriate to ignore the difference, they will never know this.  If they are told don't ask that, guess what? They won't.  So moms, dads, do not stop you child from asking my son about his wheelchair or seat, actually promote it, in a kind manner of course.  Otherwise your ignorance will turn into their ignorance which will never turn into inclusion.  And that is all my son wants, to be included.  Even if it is just sitting in the circle with all the other kids.  Because if you read the above paragraph at all you'd see your children and my child may have some common interests.

We are so grateful our families and a a few close friends are raising their children to ask questions and share acceptance.  These adults and children will go above and beyond to include Lil Bill, to play with Lil Bill, to cheer for Lil Bill.  They see him as a two year old.  They see him for who he is.  They have fun with each other and play with each other, like children are suppose to.  So is that too much for the world to do?

1 comment:

  1. Damn I love that kid,it's a good thing I wasn't at the store with you cause I would have beat the parents up and went nija turtle on the Damn kids with spinning back kick and a few drop kicks,LiL Bill rocks

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